Davis's 100 NORMAL dayyea right
by Hypermon
Summary: I don't quite remember what made me write about this. The story is told by Davis. He's describing a normal random day of his life. Doesn't seem to interesting eh? Well, perhaps if you decided to read it you'll see what I mean. REVIEW!


I don't own Digimon, simple as that.

Davis's 100% NORMAL Day(yea right)

Ok, this is a story from Davis's point of view. He tells you what he does as he goes on with a normal, calm, passive day....HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

You probably think this is a boring, stupid fic....YOU HAVEN'T SEEN NOTHING YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I also do not like Davis, he is my second most hated enemy next to Tai and Cody. I like everyone else though.

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Ok, I wake up from bed. Then I do 100 jumping jacks jumping on a picture of TK. After that, I take a shower in green sewage. I rub myself off with a big joint of raw steak. I get dressed. Today, I put on Jun's panties on my head and cover my privates in bras. 

For breakfast, I suck the steak up through my nose and drink a cold glass of toilet water. Then, i grab a frying pan and chase Jun around the house with it until she gives me my lunch money.

Next, I leave the house to go to school. I walk to the bus stop and wait. To pass the waiting, I roll around in the grass and grunt like a pig. The bus finally comes, and I get on and sit down in a seat. I take out a stick of butter and rub it in my hair to make my aphro puff even bigger.

We quickly reach school and before I get off, I cover myself in honey and birdseed. The hungry, rabid birds around the school see me and tear the chunks of seed and honey off of me in an insane frenzy. I laugh at the silly birds.

The bell for school rings and I quickly run to homeroom. While the teacher is taking attendance, I throw chicken bones and mud at all my fellow classmates. 

When homeroom is over, I go to science class. I pick up my desk and throw it out the window. Then I grab a science book and eat pages 1 to 100. My science teacher asks for homework and I spit out the giant wad of chewed-up paper. He tells me to go to the office. I start to cry and pull my hair viciously. The teacher pushes me out of his room and closes the door. I then, sadly go to the principal. When I get there, I pull all of the secretary's ears and jump on their heads until the principal takes me to his private office. I sit down. He says I have a week of detention. He also asks me a bunch of questions. I answer "chicken" for every one. The principal slowely nods his head and tells me to go to lunch. I scream happily and stick my foot in his face as I leave for the lunchroom. I bounce all the way there on my ass. 

I cut in front of all the kids and grab the giant container filled with creamed corn. I spill the container on the lunch-aids and then lick the corn off them. After that, I take my lunch money and stick it up my nose. I dance around the cafeteria with baloney strapped to my feet for the rest of lunch. 

The bell rings, signaling the end of lunch. I rip the bell off the wall and glue it to my butt. Then I go to math class. When I get inside the math room, I cover myself in chalk dust and throw myself at the wall. The chalk prints of my body show up and I giggle. My math teacher tells me to sit down. I sit on her lap. She yells at me. I get mad and throw the bras that I'm wearing at her, which leaves me buck-naked. I prance around the class crazily and then go up to the pencil sharpener. I pull out some of my buttery hair and sharpen it. My math teacher calls the principal on the phone. When she's done, she walks out of the class.

I pull an electrical wire out of the wall and stick it in my belly-button. Electricity surges through my body. I fall to the floor and start to chew on my leg.

Just then, policemen come and drag me out of the school. I try to bite them, but it doesn't work. They shove me into the police car and start to drive. I am scared. I pick my nose and rub the boogers all over the window. I get bored of doing that so I start to scream REALLY loud. The policemen tell me to stop, but I just scream even louder. The car stops and the police kick me out and drive away. I lie down on the ground and roll all the way home.

When I get to my house, I run upstairs to my room and stare at myself in the mirror till my eyes hurt. Then its time for dinner!

Dinner consists of a big roast chicken with mashed potatoes and gravy and cheese. I take the huge triangle of cheese and swish it in-between my toes and make my cat lick it out. After I'm done with that, I grab the bowl of salad place it on my head. I also take some gravy and rub it all over my breasts while singing " Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony. He stuck a feather in his cap and called it macaroni..."

Jun yells at me for being stupid. I get mad and throw the cat at her. She screams. My mom now tells me to go up to my room. I quietly go upstairs. Before I go to sleep, I call up my dear friend, Kari. She picks up the phone. I say "boogaboogabooga boo". She says that she'll call the police if I call her up again and then hangs the phone up. I again, get mad and throw the phone in the toilet. Next, I stick my head in the toilet and flush it at the same time. When I'm done with that, I take a hammer and pound ,myself in the head with it until i pass out. My mom eventually comes, picks me up and carries me to bed. She tucks me in with 100 hungry lions. If I get lucky, I'll be able to wake up the next day in one piece.

THE END

Please don't flame me. this fic is meant as a joke, just like all the other ones I did. I mean no harm to you or your cherished digimon people.

Also, if Davis Angel is out there, I just want to say, YOU STINK!!! ok, I'm done now.....


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